Ssssh! Your Secrets Are Never Safe With A Hijackal

Of course, you want the intimacy that is part of a loving relationship, especially the emotional intimacy of having that one special person who knows you better than almost everyone else. That’s natural. You long for closeness and safety. But, you have a tumultuous relationship with your partner, a relentlessly Continue Reading →

Going Home for the Holidays & Hoping It Will Be Different?

Is it realistic to expect that you can go home for the holidays and people will treat you as you are at this point in your life? Or, will they treat as they are comfortable thinking of you as they knew you? Sometimes, people like to keep us in the Continue Reading →

If Your Partner Says “It’s All Your Fault,” it’s likely not. Here’s why.

“It’s all your fault!” No matter what is happening you hear “It’s all your fault.” Even, if you weren’t there, it’s somehow all your fault. Maybe, it is. Maybe, you are absolutely incompetent, incapable, and unworthy in every way. But, it’s not likely all your fault. For one thing, you Continue Reading →

Being Verbally Abused May Be Something You’ve Gone “Nose-Blind” To!

Are you being verbally abused? It’s there. It’s always in the air. It could strike or rebound at any time. Have you gone nose-blind to it? “Nose-blind” is a phrase from a TV ad for air-freshener. The reason you’ve gone “nose-blind” to the awful smells in your house or car Continue Reading →

Keeping Your Cool When Hijackals™ Don’t!

Hijackals™–those relentlessly difficult people in your life–like to think they have power over you. They practice that–in fact, check that–by trying to make you lose your cool. It’s that simple! I’m going to help you with these steps for keeping  your cool around them. Usually, you are on guard for Continue Reading →

Your Children Watch You. What Are They Learning?

Children watch. From the moment they are born, they watch…and, they are watching you.  Right from birth, your children watch. They are being imprinted with all that they take in through their senses, through what they see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. They have no language but they hear the Continue Reading →

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think Continue Reading →

Verbal Abuse? Emotional Abuse? High Conflict?

I’m Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.  I help the partners, exes and adult children of relentlessly difficult people–Hijackals™–save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. Are you walking on eggshells, never sure, or comfortable about what to say or do Read More > >