Category Archives: Hijackals AKA Chronically Difficult People

Gaslighting | Hijackal® Relationships

Have you started second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity around your partner, parent or boss? Do you have a totally version of what happened in any situation than s/he does? You could be experiencing “gaslighting.” That’s when another person purposefully wants to be in control of your experience of a situation. In fact, they want…

Hoovering | Hijackal™ Relationships

“Hoovering?”  Yes, it’s a thing! It happens in relationships with Hijackals ™. Have you been “hoovered?” Have you walked away from the relationship for very good reasons? You were strong. You knew what you were doing and why you were doing it. And, then, somehow, you got sweet-talked, bargained with, promised, and cajoled into taking your…

Things always your fault? It's crazy-making.

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think for one minute that something…

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

Anger & Aggression Ruin Relationships. Think About This.

When there is anger and aggression, do the wise thing: look inward first. Why start with you? Because you can’t change others! Be wise. Start with yourself. Anger and aggression? Other people can be crazy-making. No doubt! And, they can be scary: demeaning, belittling, demanding, threatening. All those things are aggressive. And, you so want…

Difficult People At Work Make You Want to Stay Home

Hijackals®, aka chronically difficult people at work, can create a daily hell when you have to interact with them. How do they show up and what can you do with them? A few weeks ago, my colleague and friend, Robert Imbriale, invited me to talk about my term, Hijackals–those chronically difficult people at work–on his…

I'll tell you what to think.

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals®  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason:…

Rhoberta Shaler anger quote blurt you hurt

Speaking When You’re Angry Costs Too Much. Do This Instead.

You are so angry and you just want to tell that !#&*()#$! what you really think…and what you believe s/he needs to know! Likely, that’s very unwise! Managing your anger is the most important issue at this moment. It’s a fleeting moment, don’t miss it. Managing Anger: Ask yourself: Where do I want to be…

Scary difficult person who mkaes you feel trapped and anxious.

Trapped By a Hijackal in Sheep’s Clothing? Beware!

Hijackals™ are chameleons when you first meet them. They will be just what you want them to be…and that’s the beginning of the path to feeling trapped. It’s like they can read your soul and give you the love, attention, and understanding you have longed for.   S/he scooped you up, engaged you fully, and stole…

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