Category Archives: Difficult people

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness…

Covert Verbal Abuse: Is Someone Telling You How You Should Feel?

Covert verbal abuse happens when a seemingly benign remark goes under your radar. You don’t see it for the abuse it is. You get used to it. Covert verbal abuse happens when someone tells you how you feel, what you think, or what you need or want. It’s sneaky. You might not see it as…

3 Immediate Ways to Empower Yourself When Someone is Angry

When someone is angry–especially when you are faced with an angry, relentlessly difficult person–always remember that the angrier they are, the more brain-dead they are. (Well, not really brain-dead, but when someone is angry, s/he is incapable of thinking straight, that’s for sure.) It’s a simple matter of body chemistry and physiology. The angrier you…

Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Why Do You Tolerate It?

Passive-aggressive behavior is crazy-making. You know–especially if you’ve been reading this blog for a while–that to end passive-aggressive behavior you need to have strong boundaries. So why do you continue to tolerate passive-aggressive behavior? It takes two to be passive-aggressive you know. A person cannot play that game alone!  So, why do you play?  Do…

verbal abuse and emotional abuse when angry

Being Verbally Abused May Be Something You’ve Gone “Nose-Blind” To!

Are you being verbally abused? It’s there. It’s always in the air. It could strike or rebound at any time. Have you gone nose-blind to it? “Nose-blind” is a phrase from a TV ad for air-freshener. The reason you’ve gone “nose-blind” to the awful smells in your house or car is because you have grown…

Keeping Your Cool When Hijackals™ Don’t!

Hijackals®–those relentlessly difficult people in your life–like to think they have power over you. They practice that–in fact, check that–by trying to make you lose your cool. It’s that simple! I’m going to help you with these steps for keeping  your cool around them. Usually, you are on guard for the next irritation when you’re…

How Do You Know If You’re With A Narcissist

Some Hijackals™ have traits that include those of narcissists. I think that too many people use clinical labels for the behaviors of others without knowing what they really mean. To make it easier for non-clinicians to be accurate when describing these behaviors, I created the term “Hijackas” From this panel series I did with Helen…

Things always your fault? It's crazy-making.

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think for one minute that something…

Crazy-Making? Verbal Abuse? Emotional Abuse? The Right Place For Relationship Help!

I’m Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. I want to help you to stop the seemingly endless cycle of conflicts, miscommunications, crazy-making habits, alienation, and constant drama. You’re in the right place for relationship help. “The help and information you share makes me feel I can breathe again. I am not alone in this. Thank you.” “Thank you, Read More > >

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