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Learn to Say NO! to Toxic People? It Requires Saying YES! to Yourself

Toxic people, difficult people, push you to do what they want you to do. Learn to say no.  They will shame you, blame you, and game you into it…or, at least try. And, when you allow the manipulation, you feel one of two things: hopeful that, if you do what they want, they will like…

What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness…

leaving a Hijackal, leaving a narcissist, leaving a difficult relationship,

How Will I Feel When I’m Leaving A Hijackal™, A Relentlessly Difficult Person?

Leaving a Hijackal™–that relentlessly difficult person who hijacks the relationship for his or her own purposes–can be a double-edged sword.  Hijackals scavenge the relationship for power, status, and control, and leave you feeling discouraged, demeaned, and disempowered.  You finally recognize the need to leave, and then what? In my Facebook group, a member posted an…

Hijackal parents are difficult people, disturbed people

5 Sad, Underlying Beliefs You May Have If You Were Raised By A Difficult Parent

If you were raised by a Hijackal®* parent, deep down, you know you’re not fine. You say you are, but you’re not. Maybe, you can’t even put your finger on how you know you’re not. I want to help with that. You may not have all five of these deep-down beliefs about yourself, but I…

those red flags I didn't see

Those Red Flags! Why Didn’t I See Them Sooner?

Hindsight is excellent. You know that. One of the hardest things to see when you’re falling in love is those red flags. You want to fall in love. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. Nothing should get in its way. Not even a Hijackal™*! Those red flags may not have been waving wildly, just quietly and occasionally.…

When Is It A Rough Patch and When Is It Abuse? Recognize abuse!

Is what you’re going through–or watching someone else go through–just a rough patch or actually abuse? Too many people put up with bad behaviors they make excuses for, and put up with, that are really abusive and need to stop! Recognize abuse when it’s happening. No one likes to think they are being abused. You, like…

difficult people, Hijackals, take no responsibility

A Difficult Partner or Parent? Do These 3 Things When S/he Takes No Responsibility For Anything

Infuriating, right? A difficult partner, likely a Hijackal™, refuses to take responsibility for anything that is not praise-worthy. S/he will step right in if they can take credit for something good. But, when something goes sideways, it’s all you, all your fault. And, that’s just one infuriating thing that goes on on a daily basis!…

Why You Need To Trust Yourself If You Want A Healthy Relationship

Do you trust yourself? Can you count on yourself? Do you keep your promises to yourself? Do you trust that you have what it takes no matter what life presents? It’s absolutely essential to trust yourself if you want to find, create, or experience an emotionally safe and healthy relationship with anyone else!   Who…

What Is Narcissistic Behavior? Believe Actions, Not Words!

Narcissistic Behaviour Have you ever been lured into a store with the promise of a great–almost unbelievable–deal? Then, you get there and find that there are conditions: the deal is only available for people with perfect credit, green hair, purple eyes, an IQ of 220 and whose mother had no children? Otherwise,  you’re out of…