Answers To Common Relationship Questions

relationship problemsHi, I'm Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor. I'm here to offer answers to your relationship questions. 

When life and love feel crazy-making, you need insights, skills, strategies....and answers. Those, I offer.  I've helped hundreds of people just like you get unstuck and clearer on their best next steps for more than twenty-five years.

My particular specialty is working with the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of chronically difficult people. I call them  "Hijackals™." (If you're not sure if the person you are thinking of is actually a Hijackal, download my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, HERE.

It's difficult--some say almost impossible--to really see what's going on by yourself. Having a "guide on the side" is the best way to figure things out and take the next best steps.  I want to help you communicate, manage conflict, negotiate and collaborate effectively: all essential elements for creating the honesty, safety,  trust, and respect healthy relationships require.

Have you thought or said any of these things, lately?

When you click on each topic below, you'll soon get to my video comments for each. This is a work in progress, and these are the most common relationship issues I receive questions about.

I just don't feel heard or respected by my partner.

What do I need to do to change this? Can I get him/her to change?

My partner is always blaming me.
It seems nothing I do is ever enough, or even good enough. Is the problem with me, with my partner, where? What will make this stop?

I think we're headed for a breakup that I don't want.
Do you have any magic to change the direction?

My ex is constantly taking me to court, and it's costly.
And, it takes money away from what I can do with the children. Why can’t we just make a custody agreement that we both can honor? What is the problem?

My mother drives me crazy.
She cannot leave one thing that is happening in my life alone. She has to comment on it, tell me what to do. If I don’t do what she thinks I should do, there is no end of difficulties. How can I get her to recognize that I am quite able to make my own decisions and live with the consequences?

I feel as though my partner just cannot be pleased.
It seems there HAS to be a problem, and that problem is my fault, no matter what it is. What is going on and what can I do to make it stop?
My attorney doesn't stand up for me.
S/he is always telling me I’m lucky to get what I get. S/he doesn’t seem to believe me when I explain how difficult my ex is and always has been. How do I get through to my attorney? Can you help me do that?
We fight. Every couple of weeks we have a big argument that escalates to the 'leaving' conversation.
It’s awful. We love each other yet we keep doing this, It even happens in front of the kids, and that’s just not good. What’s wrong with us? We know better. Can you help us stop this?
I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't in most things around here.
The ground is always shifting, and I’m always standing in the wrong place, according to my partner. It’s crazy-making. I do my best to try and please my partner but it almost seems s/he just won’t be pleased. I’m at the end of my tether. What can I do? What should I do? Help!

I can help you with these challenges.

Let's have an introductory session

Do you think you are ready to start couples work or get individual relationship help? Let's talk and find out! Book a $97 introductory consultation, right now!



Please understand, Dr. Shaler is NOT a sex therapist. This is not the place for questions about improving your actual sex life or performance, however, questions regarding deepening emotional and psychological intimacy as it relates to your relationship in the bedroom may be asked and will be answered.

In the meantime, read the blog, subscribe to Tips for Relationships, listen to podcasts and  watch video responses to some frequent questions!