Aligning Yourself with Your Desired Achievements

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Sometimes people forget that meaningful goals--ones they are really willing to accomplish---have to be created in line with their most deeply held values. Ideally you want your top five goals to be completely in line with the top five things you find significant, important and valuable to you.

As a good example of this, I'll tell you about John. He participated in a seminar I gave on "Discovering Your Life's Purpose". John was happy in his work, in fact, he "loved his job", and, yet, life was feeling like a struggle. He felt disjointed, pulled in various directions, and unable to put his finger on the problem.

John seemed clear in his three goals: to expand his sales territory by one state, increase his income by 30%, and to spend one day a week training new staff members. Worthwhile, clear goals, right? As the class explored their deeply held values, John's list had these three at the top: his relationship with his family, his spiritual life and his health.

In order to complete the exercise, John was asked to look at his plans for achieving his goals. They included being out of town frequently. Sometimes he was away a week or so at a time working long days including weekends. Many of his children's activities took place on weekends. When John came home he was very tired and needed much time to catch up on sleep as well as the work items waiting for him. He missed meeting with his spiritual community on weekends as well.

How were John's goals in line with his values? The way in which John chose to meet his goals was leading him away from what he said he valued. No wonder he was feeling pulled"! The solution was readily available: John took the weekends out of his travel schedule. Then he was in alignment with his values while still meeting his goals.

When goals and values are not aligned, you experience mixed emotions and a sense of disarray within. Take the time to remember your values and adjust your goals accordingly. Pay most attention to your values.


NOTE: You can find more insights like this one in my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands at

Sow Peace™

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

Call me at The Optimize Center if you want to optimize your relationships and results. 760.593.4604

Dr. Shaler is the founder of Sow Peace™ and CEO of Optimize Life Now, LLC in San Diego, CA

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  2. Tumble Dryers - Reply

    of course spiritual life is more important than our physical life on earth~~’

  3. Liz - Reply

    Hi All!
    In my experience everything happens when it’s mean’t to sometimes I devour books and others I lose interest completely this is also true of my physical and spiritual life, I can be completely absorbed in my physical life whilst learning what I can from what’s going on around me then questions start coming and are often answered synchronistically, but when I get stuck and no answer comes something happens to move my interest toward the spiritual and I become fully motivated to investigate that and receive synchronistic guidance and support when I have the balance right everything just flows. Including getting everything I ask for if I don’t, I understand that it might not be time for me to have that thing or information yet, sometimes something else has to happen first so I align myself with patience and stay open and aware and wait for guidance and understanding it never fails so I’m conciously greatful for what I have and ask for more things to be greatful for I know the universe wants me to have everything I want and need but will not interfere with my free will, so when I ask this gives permission to the universe to step in and help it never fails to amaze me and I share what I’ve learned and understood and am greatful for the opportunity to do that, so the physical and the spirtual are always present, sometimes one is more present than the other so just wait until you get stuck with any aspect of your life this is the sign that something needs to change then ask for what you need or want for your highest good and the highest good of all and be patient, open and alert for the signs to move you to the next phase. So both the physical and spiritual aspects of our lives are equally important for our growth you can’t have one without the other.

    • DrShaler - Reply

      Yes, living in gratitude leads to living by grace. And, that’s a wonder-filled thing!

      Thanks for your insights.

      Sow Peace,

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