Emotional abuse is when one person Usually or frequently engages in behaviors to control another person by:
- criticizing
- embarrassing
- manipulating
- shaming
- blaming
- discounting
- dismissing
- depriving
- denying
- controlling
...their rights, needs, wants, thoughts, feelings AND equality.
Unfortunately, many people do not recognize emotional abuse.
Perhaps, they are used to it from a difficult childhood, and think it is love. NO! It isn’t. It’s abuse.
Yes, it’s difficult to admit–even to yourself–that you are being emotionally abused.
Maybe, you are sufficiently trauma-bonded to even have sympathy for your abuser. That’s a big red flag that you need to see the emotional abuse for what it is, and take steps to stop tolerating it.
It also can be difficult to redefine the parent or partner who is perpetrating the emotional abuse as abusive. You don’t want to think of them that way, or you care more about their reputation than your own emotional safety.
Those can be tough words to hear.
Emotional abuse becomes a way of life that you manage within, all the while trying to do everything the abuser wants.
You think that will make them happy, secure, stable, and kind. It won’t. Emotional abusers are seldom interested in changing themselves because they have a NEED to control. (Sorry. The most likely change is that they get worse.)
Recognize the many sneaky and obvious ways that you may being emotionally abused. On Dr. Shaler’s Save Your Sanity podcast and YouTube channel, there’s so much for you. We hope you’ll listen, watch, recognize, and know that NO ONE has the right to abuse you.
Gain insights, skills, and strategies to help you say NO! to further emotional abuse. Please start today. You deserve to live without abuse!
Emotional Abuse often feels like:
- “I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong anymore and feel like I am going crazy.”
- “I feel like I have to live on high alert. I don’t know what’s coming next.”
- “Nothing I do is right or good enough.“
- “It’s always my fault…even when it isn’t.”
- “I am confused all the time, things are unpredictably awesome or horrible, and nowhere in between.”
- “I’m tired of the silent treatment.”
- “Sometimes I think my partner really hates me.”
- “I’m concerned for my children, what they’re seeing and hearing.”
- “I’m so tired of the drama, the outbursts, the attacks, and the cycles.”
- “Should I stay or should I go?”
- “Can this relationship ever get better?”

- Are you tired of everything being your fault?
- Is home somewhere you avoid because it doesn't feel safe?
- Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells and can't be yourself?
- Are you caught in a cycle of feeling overwhelmed and unable to make decisions, constantly second-guessing yourself?
Here are a collection of my popular podcast episodes and blog posts that may give you some deeper insight into what you’re experiencing right now.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: The High Cost of Enabling a Narcissistic Hijackal
There can be significant and damaging results to enabling a narcissist that you don’t want to stay blind to. You

How Living With Or Being Raised By A Narcissist Actually Traumatizes You
If you downplay the trauma, you won’t take steps to recover. That would be a shame. Never underestimate the effect

Feeling Stuck With A Hijackal? Shift Your Thinking With These Tips!
Sometimes, you can feel SO stuck! The Hijackal–that relentless difficult toxic person–looms over your thinking, and keeps you in the

Love-Bombing Is Emotional Intoxication: How To Become Immune To It
Discard, then Woo. Devalue, then profess undying love. You know how the love-bombing swings. It’s a ploy, a sham. It’s

Where To Find Your Emotional Resiliency Guest: Susan Dascenzi
One thing is a for sure: living with a #Hijackal requires resiliency if you’re not to be emotionally exhasted. Here’s

Housebound With A Hijackal? 16 Forms of Emotional Domestic Violence to Recognize NOW!
Emotional domestic violence is far more prevalent than physical domestic violence, yet, neither get nearly enough notice or understanding During

Breadcrumb Dating: How It’s Related to Insecurity & Toxicity GUEST: Tracy Crossley
In this sometimes crazy digital world, dating is more daring for everyone. Breadcrumb Dating is a real thing, and you

The Impact of Emotional Abuse From a Parent and the Adult You Become
My guest for this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb, is the foremost expert in Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). What she has
Providing urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis was Dr. Shaler’s mission. For over 30 years, she offered the insights, information, and inspiration for clients and audiences to transform relationship with themselves and other humans to be honest, respectful, and safe in all ways. Even the United States Marines have sought her help!
Her focus in the last decade was toward helping the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls Hijackals® to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity.


Author of sixteen books, including her Hijackal ebook series, Escaping the Hijackal Trap, and, Stop! That’s Crazy-Making, Dr. Shaler hosted the popular podcast, Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships.