What Good Is There In Receiving Criticism From Someone You Hardly Know?

Have you ever experienced receiving criticism from someone you hardly knew–and, who hardly knew you?  It’s a strange situation, isn’t it? I think so. I wonder if they think it is a way to build intimacy in a relationship that is barely past the acquaintance stage? Or, is it an attempt to demonstrate their vast awareness…

Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Why Do You Tolerate It?

Passive-aggressive behavior is crazy-making. You know–especially if you’ve been reading this blog for a while–that to end passive-aggressive behavior you need to have strong boundaries. So why do you continue to tolerate passive-aggressive behavior? It takes two to be passive-aggressive you know. A person cannot play that game alone!  So, why do you play?  Do…

Things always your fault? It's crazy-making.

Always Your Fault? Always Wrong? You May Be With A Hijackal.

Is everything–somehow–always your fault? Do you so much want to believe your partner loves you, yet, you are so frequently being hurt? Do you justify your partner’s behavior with “S/he is just having a bad day, a bad time, under stress” too often? People who cannot allow themselves to think for one minute that something…

Hijackals never stop finding fault and demanding control and power

Anger & Aggression Ruin Relationships. Think About This.

When there is anger and aggression, do the wise thing: look inward first. Why start with you? Because you can’t change others! Be wise. Start with yourself. Anger and aggression? Other people can be crazy-making. No doubt! And, they can be scary: demeaning, belittling, demanding, threatening. All those things are aggressive. And, you so want…

I'll tell you what to think.

Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

“It’s crazy-making! No matter how wrong s/he is, it’s always my fault. I’m to blame!” That’s what I hear from so many clients: everything is always their fault. That’s because they are in relationships with chronically difficult people, aka Hijackals™  (scroll down for a quick video: My partner is constantly blaming me!) There’s a reason:…

Rhoberta Shaler anger quote blurt you hurt

Speaking When You’re Angry Costs Too Much. Do This Instead.

You are so angry and you just want to tell that !#&*()#$! what you really think…and what you believe s/he needs to know! Likely, that’s very unwise! Managing your anger is the most important issue at this moment. It’s a fleeting moment, don’t miss it. Managing Anger: Ask yourself: Where do I want to be…

Relationship help for dealing with a chronically difficult person,

Why Your Partner Always Makes You Feel Not Good Enough

“Nothing I do is right, not good enough. I do my best but it seems it’s never enough.” Do you feel that way much of the time with your partner, your mother, or a boss? Not just occasionally, but most of the time? (Watch the video at the bottom of this post for quick information on…

Get relationship help now for yourself if you suspect you are living with, or divorced from a high conflict person.

Manage Anger Or It Will Manage You!

When people come to me for anger management coaching and classes, they often say: “I don’t like who I am when I let my anger fly!”  They are disappointed, embarrassed, humiliated, and/or, having to mop up a big spill of emotions that didn’t need to happen. You might say, “Yes, it did! I just couldn’t stand…

Passive Aggressive Relationships – When Is It Abuse?

Passive Aggressive Abuse in Relationships Leaving you shaking your head in disbelief, it’s like a nightmare where you try to run away and all you ever find are dead ends with no escape. You may even be dealing with a Hijackal*! It’s crazy-making. It’s infuriating. It’s passive-aggressive behavior! It requires relationship help! It’s covert, stealthy even! You’re…

Passive Aggressive Behavior Examples

It’s important to have some passive aggressive behavior examples because too many people like to throw labels around–especially when they are angry! When someone won’t do what you want them to do, that’s just them either being too busy, disinterested, unwilling, or just plain ornery.  Who knows? When someone doesn’t do what they promised they…